Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Some Things I Still Remember



Today is the 4 year anniversary of my mom's death. It sucks on so many levels, but it is what it is. Every year I go through the same ritual; I remember the day I signed the papers to take her off of life support. I remember our last visit together. I remember picking out her plot at the cemetery. It's like the memories are part of my physical body. They pop up so vividly it amazes me sometimes. It feels like I'm trapped in a time bubble where I relive the past over and over again. Just hit 'replay'. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't all sadness and grief. We had some fun times grieving. But this year hit me harder than last year. Not sure why.
So I've decided to share some things I remember from her last days.


the stained glass window in her living room


the jewelry I wore as she died in the hospital


the blizzard before the wake


digging out in the snow with my sisters


filling up the car with flowers from Trader Joes to set up at the wake


walking into the viewing room for the first time


the full moon on the night of her wake


picking up mom after cremation


taking mom on a tour; on her front porch with Carla


video chat with my sisters while unwrapping her ashes for the cremation necklaces I made


mom and me (nope, don't remember this but I like it)

Of course, there are a million details that I remember from that time. I'm sure I always will...at least until I become senile *wink*.

3 comments:

mim said...

thanks for sharing your memories.

carla ten eyck said...

love seeing this day from your point of view xxoo

k said...

powerful stuff