Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Today is the 4 year anniversary of my mom's death. It sucks on so many levels, but it is what it is. Every year I go through the same ritual; I remember the day I signed the papers to take her off of life support. I remember our last visit together. I remember picking out her plot at the cemetery. It's like the memories are part of my physical body. They pop up so vividly it amazes me sometimes. It feels like I'm trapped in a time bubble where I relive the past over and over again. Just hit 'replay'. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't all sadness and grief. We had some fun times grieving. But this year hit me harder than last year. Not sure why.
So I've decided to share some things I remember from her last days.
the stained glass window in her living room
the jewelry I wore as she died in the hospital
the blizzard before the wake
digging out in the snow with my sisters
filling up the car with flowers from Trader Joes to set up at the wake
walking into the viewing room for the first time
the full moon on the night of her wake
picking up mom after cremation
taking mom on a tour; on her front porch with Carla
video chat with my sisters while unwrapping her ashes for the cremation necklaces I made
mom and me (nope, don't remember this but I like it)
Of course, there are a million details that I remember from that time. I'm sure I always will...at least until I become senile *wink*.